My True Love Gave To Me

Lee Ann and her Mother Ann Duckett the Summer/ fall of 98?

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me… yeah, that one really stings a bit. Christmas songs, especially the “Seasonal” songs, the ones about sipping hot cocoa nestled by the fire, walking down the lane together, stealing that winter kiss, giggling like young first loves. It brings back so many wonderful memories.

Our first kiss, that evening there was just magic in the air. I could just feel something special was floating around. I got showered and cleaned up. I got shaved, without slashing myself to ribbons, and even got my hair to rest just perfectly after a brushing. Well, I wasn’t about to let this opportunity go unrecognized. This called for some hairspray to set the mood. Set it in perfected stillness, with just a slight bit of bounce and laughing body… you know, that devil may care hold that all the folks on those Mid 20ish fashion ads talk about. That’s what I needed, and I needed it bad. So with all the fashion plate-dom I could muster, I reached for the hairspray and let fly with a whimsical release of atomized hair hold. Oh, the aroma of fresh lemons, a couple of limes, and the ability to kill 99.9% of all household germs on contact, do your magic…

Wait a minute… since when does hairspray reveal a fresh lemony scent? Like an idiot I validate the process with another blast. Hairspray only smells that way one time and one time only, and that my friends is when it isn’t hairspray at all, but good old disinfecting tub and tile bathroom killer Lysol. Oh grand, I have 25 minutes to go and pick up my beloved and I now am a 3D scratch and sniff version of a Scrubbing Bubble. And my hair looks as if it was daintily airbrushed with Turtlewax.

What do I do? Will she notice? WILL SHE NOTICE??? Are you nuts? This is the girl who takes Mensa tests for fun. Will she notice… Why I ought-a… Well what could I do is jump in for a quick and extremely vigorous shampoo. Actually one might describe what occurred as the Viet-Kong caning of all shampoos, with profanity to match. By the time I got out, my hair stood every way but where it was supposed to, I had one red eye from shampoo running into it. Well, I had to keep checking the clock. I resembled the young pro wrestler after his first ever match with the new Chosen TV champ villain, right after the referee wakes back up from a chair to the back of the head.

Needless to say I did not use any hair products this time prior to leaving the house. I picked her up at her house. She looked stunning, she always did. I gave her some flowers; she gave me a hug.

“Well, you certainly smell, clean”, she said with a genuine smile.

“Yeah, well… it’s a new spray I am trying out.”

“Oh.” And she gets in the car.

Great first impression… Nothing weaves a bridge of confidence in a man like exuding the great romantic scent of really clean bathroom grout.

We had a really great dinner out. I honestly don’t remember where we went… Lee Ann would know. Lee Ann would know what we had for dinner. My head is telling me that we went to the Mexican Froo Froo restaurant on the plaza next near the Paper Source. The restaurant is gone now. But it had good food when we were there, and it was fun to go and just look around while you dined. My memory isn’t so good; maybe it was the Lysol to the head that wiped out my long term… um, what was I talking about?

It was late summer. I do remember that. As I dropped her off at the front door to her house, we stood by the front door and talked for what seemed like a few minutes. But it ended up being almost fourty-five minutes. As we said our good nights she leaned forward, I leaned forward and the TV guys are right. I did see fireworks. That girl flat out took my breath away. I think my voice even changed. I tried to say something cool and failed miserably, she giggled and gave me another kiss. I tried to walk away effortlessly; heck I was just trying to walk in a straight line when I fell over the drainpipe. Yep, I Dick Van Dyked it right in the middle of their front yard. I jumped up so fast that she couldn’t even get out an “are you all right?” I had already dusted myself off, waved and was in the car. I didn’t feel what I had landed on until the next morning when I found that my shins and hip, and elbow were all bruised up from the rock garden. I didn’t notice all that night. I didn’t even care the next day.

Months later Lee Ann told me how much that night really meant to her. Twelve and a half years later, I hold that memory so close, so tight that sometimes I can feel a lump in my emotions. Some days it feels like it has been an eternity, some times it feels like she is just out to the Art School and I am waiting for her to come in the door to show me what she has created.